The thing about writers is we always try to find something worth while to bring to our readers. What will bring more people to our content? What will make people want to engage?
I’m trying to sway my focus away from the number of hits my blog gets and turn it into something more personal – something genuine – so please bear with me as I make this transition.
So, what’s new with me?
I recently started going to counseling, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s such a blessing to be able to have time dedicated every week to working out one’s thoughts and perspectives.
I first went to counseling in middle school when I struggled with depression. It was a terrible experience to sit in a chair not knowing what to do and to have someone you barely knew staring at you, nodding at every word you had to say.
I was uncomfortable, and rightfully so. It was new for me, and honestly I didn’t know how counseling was supposed to work. I thought I would go in an be asked questions about the things that bothered me. Instead, I was the one who was asked what we should talk about. I had to initiate it. Most of the conversations turned into ones about boys, and we never did talk about the things that bothered me. She didn’t want to force me to talk about anything, and I was too nervous and shy to bring up the things I needed to discuss.
Counseling is a way for me to reflect on certain things that I probably wouldn’t focus on otherwise. I am learning how to think and process my own thoughts. As someone who is incredibly self critical, I can say the experience has been encouraging thus far.
Is counseling difficult? Absolutely. I’ve always been transparent, so when I’m asked to think back to times when I was sad or hurt, of course it has an effect on me. I can only imagine how someone with walls around his/her heart would react.
I believe counseling is a way for me to grow, not only mentally, but also emotionally and spiritually. I learn how to process my emotions and have better thought processes, and I am encouraged to know that there is someone who loves me. . . God.
I believe I am self critical because I’m trying to please someone. But the truth is, I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I don’t have to stress out about things and become anxious about the little things in life that don’t matter because there is someone out there who will always love me the same when others say I’ve failed.
One verse that encourages me with this is Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing, but with prayer and petition and thanksgiving make your needs known to God.” This verse is a reminder that there is a greater being looking out for my welfare. I don’t have to worry or stress about ANYTHING! I don’t have to wonder if I’m doing enough to be loved in God’s eyes or if I’m impressing the people around me. God loves me right where I am, and I truly believe He loves all of you, too.